Your Turn..............

My sister sent me an email with cute little quips about aging.  One I thought was rather interesting and thought I'd pass it on to each of you:

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I get to go first, after all it's my journal!  If I didn't know how old I was I think I'd place myself right around the age of 35.  That's truly how old I feel most of the time.  There are those days after a lot of heavy duty yard work that I may feel 80, but for the most part 35 fits me fine. 

How about you?  Come on!  How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?  Remember now, this isn't a "wish" because if that were the case I'd be much younger; it's how you FEEL.

I'm waiting........................

Email From Mommy Kim

First I would like to say "Thank you" to all of you who have sent cards,
gifts, flowers and emails.  I was able to respond to some of you today.
Yesterday was a little too difficult.  However, each and every email
touched both Kirk and I very much.

I never did get my thank you cards out for the last three baby showers I
had.  I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you via email to all
of you.  I will not be able to send a separate note to each of you - thank
you for your understanding.

The flowers sent to us at the hospital for me and the girls and the flowers
sent for Katelyn now are appreciated.  Mommy loves bright and pretty things
- it brightens the day!

Thank you for the monetary gifts as well.  It is greatly appreciated.

Tim (a friend from church) mowed our yard previously in May and it was a
great gift due to Kirk's back injury.  Thank you Tim.  Today we came home
from the hospital and our yard had been taken care of again (and boy did it
need it) but this time by an anoymous friend.  Thank you for this gift --
whomever you are!!!  Little Oscar was not happy with the long grass!

Ok - Kiersten!  They attempted to give her medicine to close the PDA (an
artery that goes over the heart that typically closes before birth).  It
did not work.  They will have to do surgery to close it.  Although this is
a scary thing I am a little more at peace with it since Kendra had this
done a week ago and she did just fine.  However, there can be complications
and we ask that you pray for her to come through it OK.  Other than that
she is doing very well.  Still peeing and pooping - a big thing at her
age!!  She is very low on her ventilator setting and may be able to come
off that soon.  They hope to give her breast milk within a week.  She is
still small and needs to grow - please keep her in your prayers.

OK - Kendra!  The new medicine they gave her on Monday seems to be working.
At this time at least.  They say sometimes there is a "honeymoon" period
where they do well and then go downhill.  We will not accept this and claim
in Jesus name that she will continue to improve.  Her heart is not having
to work as hard as it was,  her urine output (one of the most important
things)is slightly up and increasing each day (by a minimal amount - but
still increasing).  Her ventilator settings were down today lower than they
have ever been.  She still is retaining fluid but it doesn't appear that
she is bigger just the same as she was on Monday.  The more she pees the
more the fluid will go away.  Never thought we would be praying for "pee".
She actually had her eyes open for 15 minutes Tuesday.  Kiersten hasn't
even done that.  We were not there to see this but we will see it soon
enough.  Today Kirk and I actually got to take both girls temperatures and
also changed Kendra's diaper.  She was stable enough for us to do this.  We
are cautiously optimistic, as I am sure you can understand, but
nevertheless, we are still optimistic!

Please continue to pray for the girls - both girls.  Us too!

Kirk is sending more pixs to Cliff tomorrow to "un-zip" as AOL zips the
pixs and people can't open them.  Cliff will forward them to everyone on
this list.  Look for those soon!

Kirk and Kimberly!

Daily Affirmation

Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.
Dr. Seuss

Psalm 91

Ps. 91:1 You who live in the shelter of the Most High,

who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,

Ps. 91:2 will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress;

my God, in whom I trust."

Ps. 91:3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler

and from the deadly pestilence;

Ps. 91:4 he will cover you with his pinions,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

Ps. 91:5 You will not fear the terror of the night,

or the arrow that flies by day,

Ps. 91:6 or the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

or the destruction that wastes at noonday.

Ps. 91:7 A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

Ps. 91:8 You will only look with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

Ps. 91:9 Because you have made the LORD your refuge,

the Most High your dwelling place,

Ps. 91:10 no evil shall befall you,

no scourge come near your tent.

Ps. 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways.

Ps. 91:12 On their hands they will bear you up,

so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.

Ps. 91:13 You will tread on the lion and the adder,

the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot.

Ps. 91:14 Those who love me, I will deliver;

I will protect those who know my name.

Ps. 91:15 When they call to me, I will answer them;

I will be with them in trouble,

I will rescue them and honor them.

Ps. 91:16 With long life I will satisfy them,

and show them my salvation.

Katelyn Christine

                          Katelyn Christine Carl
                           (our sweet baby girl)
                     passed away last night at 8:45 pm


Many of you may be wondering how I can even sit here and send this email.
However, I can not begin to tell you how much it has meant to Kirk and I to
know that so many people have been and continue to pray for our children.
We still need your prayers so very much.  Just in the time it has taken me
to write this much I sit here sobbing for the loss of Katelyn as I type.
It brings me some comfort to journal via this email to the people that love
us and our babies.  Even those of you I have never met touch our hearts so
much!

We were called into the hospital yesterday to discuss the twins, Katelyn
and Kendra.  We had a conference with two doctors, two of the bedside
nurses caring for the girls and the chaplain.  We were advised that Kendra
is getting worse as she is not urinating the way she should be (meaning the
kidneys are not working), she is beginning to fill with fluid and her skin
is beginning to darken.  The kidney doctor advised that he has a different
medicine to try and it "might" be successful.  He is "slightly" optimistic
about it and said we have 2-3 days for it to work.  If it doesn't she will
be in the same situation as Katelyn.  As for Katelyn, they advised that she
was in multi-system failure and there was nothing more medically they could
do for her.  They strongly felt that she would die before the day was over.
They advised that the ventilator was the only thing keeping her alive.
They suggested that instead of letting her suffer through the night, then
code and die before we got to the hospital that we let her go while we were
there.  I must tell you having to make decisions like this are devastating.


We went to see the girls and Kendra does look a little worse.  She is
beginning to swell and retain fluid as Katelyn was (but not as bad).  Her
legs, genitals, head and shoulders show the swelling from the fluid.  We
talked to her and prayed over her at that time.

We walked over to Katelyn's bedside and began to sob and weep as she looked
so bad.  It was so apparent that Jesus was calling her home.  The sores
that she had on her arms were now developing on her legs and face.  Her
body was full of fluid again and she just laid there limp.  When I gave her
my finger to hold she would occasionally hold my finger but mostly would
just lye there.  We asked again to confirm that the machine was the only
reason she was still with us and they said yes.  We chose to have her pass
away in our arms then dying that night alone without Mommy and Daddy.

They moved her isolette and machines into a slightly more private area and
Kirk, myself and each of my parents held her for some time while she was
with us.  We talked to her, sang to her and took some pictures of her with
her family.  Kirk then held me in his arms and I held Katelyn in my arms
and they took her off life support.  She was on pain medication and some
sedation so she would not have "air hunger" and it wasn't long before was
gone.  We held her for a long time and cried.  They took a little cast of
her hand and her foot before she passed away and that meant a lot to us!

She had never been bathed since birth due to her condition so Kirk and I
alone gave her a little bath and dressed her in her first dress with her
blankie wrapped around her and then escorted her to her final resting place
at the hospital.

I know this is a lot to hear about and read but you have all been with us
through this journey and I feel that you should know what occured and how
we feel.

Kirk and I DO NOT feel that her life was in vain.  We strongly feel that
she served a purpose.  That her life was a testimony for Jesus.  This is
truly a fallen world and we will never understand WHY bad things happen but
we know she touched many, many lives and that brings a smile to our hearts.
We are so grateful that we had one week with her.  One week to hold her
hand, to kiss her, to sing to her and tell her how much she is loved.  We
know that she is no longer in pain and that she is with our loved ones in
Heaven and that God is tossing her in the air as she laughs and plays.

We were given a memory box with items that were her's.  It wasn't until
this morning that I smelled her blankie and wept because it smelled like
her.  Having these memory's mean so much to Kirk and I.

Kiersten is doing well.  She wasn't pooping and they gave her some glycerin
and last night she pooped.  They think they can begin giving her my breast
milk very soon!  I was able to hold two of my children last night for the
first time.  One because she was dying and the other because she is
thriving and living.  You can not imagine how heart wrenching it is to go
from devastation to joy all within the same hour.  Then flip flop back and
forth while holding one of your children.

We attempted to attach pictures of all the girls.  However, we are still
new with learning how to use our digital camera.  We will ask someone and
send a separate email later today or tomorrow with the pictures.  Sorry!

Thank you for letting us share about each child with you and also share the
last moments of Katelyn's life.  Once again - thank you for your prayers
for the babies and for us.  Once again - please be open to what Jesus has
to offer in your own lives!

We will keep you posted on Kendra's condition.  Please, please, please pray
that she is to stay with us.  To go through this again in a few days will
be extremely difficult.

Kirk and Kimberly

TRIPLETS 6/7/04 EMAIL.......URGENT!!!!!!!!!!

Kirk & Kim got grave news today from Katelyn and Kendra's doctors.  Both
girls are in renal failure and the doctors refuse to do dialysis because of
how serious their conditions are with everything else they are struggling
with.  The doctors and nurses are growing uncomfortable with taking any
more extreme measures to save these little girls.  They give them only a
couple of more days to live.  If ever we needed prayer, now is the time!
Please, please, please keep praying for this family and especially these
little girls.  I know it is not in God's plan for this family to have these
little girls grow up in suffering, but it could be in His plan to heal them
so that every day of their lives will be a testament to His powers of
healing.  Please pray for His will to be over this family and please hope
that means we get to watch these little girls jumping rope someday.

As for Kiersten... she is is still struggling, but is stable at this time.
She's not out of the woods but she is improving.  Her heart valve problem
has been corrected through medicine.  She's still having trouble with
remembering to breathe though.

Kim & Kirk need strength to endure this rollercoaster ride.  They spend
much time daily just crying.  All of the news from the medical world is
dire and bleak.  They need uplifting.  Kim is struggling with pain from her
C-section.  She is having to sleep in a recliner because she can't bear to
sleep lying on her back, or on her side.  Kirk is also suffering from
severe back pains.  He hurt himself remodeling the kitchen a month or so
ago and sleeping in the hospital cots and the stress of the situation has
irritated that injury.

I am convinced that all of our prayers have carried this family this far
and we can still help.  Kim was telling me that the other night Katelyn was
in distress at the hospital.  Her vital signs were going haywire and many
doctors and nurses were working on her.  Kendra's nurse was on the opposite
side of the room and she began to pray for Katelyn.  As she was praying,
Katelyn's vital signs normalized.  When the nurse went back to caring for
Kendra, Katelyn began to crash again.  She started praying again and
Katelyn came back to normal.  The nurse said it reminded her of Moses and
how when his arms were raised, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he
lowered his hands, they were losing the battle.  Finally, the nurse cried
out to God and said, "God, you need to have someone else focus all their
prayers on Katelyn, because I have to care for Kendra" and then Katelyn's
vitals came back to normal and stayed that way for the remainder of the
night shift.

When Moses grew tired during the battle and could no longer hold his hands,
he had to have Aaron and Hur hold up his hands so the Israelites could win
the battle.  We have to help hold up the hands for these little girls so
they can win this fight for their lives.  Please keep your prayers going
for these little girls.  Please get everyone one you know, whether you know
if the pray or not, ask them to please uplift this family.

Thank you once again,
In His precious love,

Jennifer

TRIPLETS 6/2/04 EMAIL

Hi everyone... judging by the long list of e-mails waiting for me this
morning, you want to get more updates so I called up to the hospital today
and chatted with Kirk for some information to pass along.

Let's start with Kim... she's had some complications due to her prior back
problems and at one point had to be on oxygen, but she's doing much better
now.  One of the nurses at the hospital felt that with all the anxiety Kim
was feeling, that she should see the babies so they took her (oxygen, IVs,
bed & all) to see the babies and when she talked to Kendra, she reached up
for Mommy's fingers and held on.  That really lifted Kim's spirits. Kim is
pumping to produce collustrum and milk for the babies to give them the
added nourishment from Mommy.   Kim is recovering slowly but she is
progressing and they're hoping she'll be released from the hospital on
Friday.  I have to stop here and say how impressed I am with Kim.  She has
been physically tortured in this process suffering every kind of pain and
complication and while it brings her to tears sometimes, she endures and
keeps pushing forward to recovery.  She's so much stronger than she ever
believed herself to be and I'm so grateful to God for giving her that added
strength that she's needed to push through the pain.

Now for the babies!

Katelyn - what a little miracle this baby girl is and what a fighter!!!
She's still retaining a lot of fluid in her head but the fluids in her body
are leaving via some holes the doctors poked in her abdomen.  Kirk says you
can see her little arms and legs now and they all look normal.  A specific
prayer request would be that she pee.  If she doesn't urniate, there are
dangers to her kidneys and if potassium levels get too high, there is
dangers for heart problems even a heart attack.  Also, that the fluids in
her head continue to travel to her abdomen where they can escape.  She
tries to open her eyes when Mommy & Daddy talk to her but she can't because
of all the fluid in her head.  She moves like crazy though at the sound of
Daddy's voice!  Thank you Jesus for this little miracle.

Kendra - she's still the smallest and having some difficulties as well.
She also needs to pee.  Because she is being fed through an IV and not
urinating,she is starting to retain fluids in her little arms and legs
like her big sister.  That in itself is scary, but she also has the same
risks as Katelyn in regards to her heart and her kidneys if she can't pee.
It's not unusual for premies to have difficulties with this issue, but it
is imperative that they both pee soon.  Please pray for that.  Kendra also
responds to the voices of Mommy & Daddy.

Kiersten - As you remember, Kiersten was the only one who was breathing on
her own and didn't require intubation.  She's had some developments since
Monday and she's been hooked up to a ventilator now.  She has an issue with
one of her arteries in her heart that has not closed up like it should
have.  They are going to treat her with medicine and if that doesn't work,
she might have to have surgery.  She's also suffering from Apnea (where
your brain forgets to breathe).  The positive sign is that she was crying
yesterday.  Most premies don't cry because they don't have the strength.
Kirk said it was wonderful to hear her cry.  He also mentioned that she has
her own little personality already... giving him some attitude on his last
visit.  : )  Please pray for her heart complications to be resolved
quickly.

Kirk - We don't talk as much about him, but I just would like to take a
moment to thank God for the amazing husband and Dad that Kirk is.  He has
been a pilar of strength for his wife throughout all of this and his baby
girls are already little Daddy's girls.  Thank you Lord for giving Kirk a
warrior's heart for fighting for his family, but also for that tender side
that embraces and comforts all of his girls.

Kirk & Kim feel so blessed to have all of you praying for them and
appreciate so much your concern for them and the babies.  I was talking to
Kirk this morning about how inspirational they have been in how they've
dealt with this scary situation by turning to God first and once again I
was floored by his response.  "How could you do this without God?"  I feel
so blessed to have friends like them in my life to show me what it really
means to trust in God in EVERYTHING!  And, it has also blessed me to see
how all of you love them too.  Thank you for continuing to pray, thank you
for forwarding these prayer requests to your prayer chains and thank you
for lifting this family up to our Lord and Healer!

As you pray for this family, please also thank the Lord for all the
miracles we've seen so far and even for the unseen ones.

Through Him, all things are possible!

In His Love,
Jennifer