Kim and I decided that we needed to get started on cleaning out Mom's house, so Saturday was the day. This is a very emotional experience for us as this house has been in our family for nearly 50 years! Eddy, Kim and I were raised in that house. We played games with each other in that house, we fought like cats and dogs with each other in that house, and we were loved by each other and our two wonderful parents in that house. Every room is full of memories. I can walk into any room and my mind starts playing one silent film after another in my head. We shared birthday parties, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July celebrations, family reunions, sleep overs, pool parties, BBQ's, and a host of other events.
Everything is just as Mom had left it that last day of her life on October 15, 2002. Her purse is still sitting in the same place she last left it. The only thing Kim and I have done up to that point was clean the fridge out, water her plants, dust and vacuum on occasion. Other than that, nothing has changed.
I got to Mom's around noon and was messing around with some of her plants and my cell phone rang. It was Kim and she wanted me to meet her for lunch first. I rarely eat breakfast so I was up for lunch. We met Applebee's and then stopped at Starbucks for coffee before we headed back to Mom's.
Once at Mom's we took all the curtains down and washed/dryed them. We cleaned out the freezer-that reminds me that I have to call and have the garbage service turned back on, and her kitchen cabinets-throwing out all the packaged food items.
It actually took longer than I thought and that's about all we got done. We will need to spend at least one full day a week for several weeks to get this all accomplished. We also plan on going over after work on some days, but to be honest I am so tired after work I don't know if we'll accomplish much.
Although I wish we'd have started getting this done right after Mom passed away, I know that we did the right thing by waiting. Time heals and today I am not as emotional about it as I would have been a year ago.
QUESTION OF THE DAY (and I need your input on this): Kim wants to pull everything out of the house that we aren't going to keep, and put it in storage for a garage sale later. That way we can get the house on the market as soon as possible.
My thought is: We need to deal with this now. Putting stuff into storage is only going to cost more money (storage fees) and God knows when we'd get around to having a garage sale. Chances are it would never happen. We are all busy and you know how that goes. I say have the sale at Mom's house now (or soon as we get it ready) and then put the place up for sale. Once the house is sold then we are finished.
What do you think?
5 comments:
Robyn: I'm with you. I think you should have a large room where you could stack the stuff that you don't want. If I may, be careful how you approach this matter, though; because it may be that Kim's not as ready to let go at the moment as you are. But, you seems very perceptive about matters -- like Kim's work situation -- so you may already be aware of this. (Gosh, I hate to give advise! I always feel I may be offending the advisee.)
And about Kim's job situation, I think she's taking the right approach in looking for another job. I hope she finds one closer to home, with better pay, and an extra week vacation. : )
I have to agree with you. It's hard but I think it will help both of you to work through the entire process together, and not put it off.
FYI..........You guys are great! No need to worry about me, Hans. I am not too sensitive and I know where you are coming from. I must admit that I have been the one dragging my feet on getting things moving and putting the house up for sale. My sister Kim and brother Eddy have been more than patient (and remain so) with their big sister. This would have been done last year if it'd been left up to them. I am the guilty party here for not having the emotional fortitude to move on. However, one must come to one's senses about this sooner or later. I am the cause of use losing more money than we should have by keeping the house in an operating mode, and paying the taxes to boot! But they love me, they truly do. I have been lucky in life to have had two of the best parents God put on this earth, and two of the most loving and gracious siblings ever created. I am truly blessed!
I agree with you. I can understand Kim's thinking but the fact that you're so busy + the storage fees is what got my vote for having a sale at your Mom's house. **I think you were wise to let a little time go by before you had to deal with all of this. We didn't wait when Mom died and always wished we'd given ourselves a little time to greive first. BIG HUGS. *Barb*
I'm with you on this one!
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