My sister, Kim (God love her!) thinks I am the smartest person on earth when it comes to dealing with people. She thinks my soft skills are excellent and turns to me for advice in handling people situations. It's nice to be the big sister with the little sister who thinks the sun raises and sits on ya! ha!
Unfortunately, she doesn't always follow my advice to the letter.
Kim works with the co-worker from hell. I'll try to condense 4 years into this entry and hope that you get the jest of the story.
Cathy (the co-worker) is a very troubled young woman in her early 30's. Kim helped Cathy get the job she has. When an opening came up she encouraged Cathy to apply, and recommended her to the hiring manager. Kim only knew Cathy from talking to her on the phone, but felt this would be a good opportunity for Cathy.
Cathy was hired and they became friends, doing the things friends do. They went to lunch everyday, bought each other expensive birthday gifts and shared their innermost thoughts with each other about the job and life in general (all against my advice). I tried to explain to Kim that business is business and should be kept separate from personal friendships. Afterall, I tried to reason, what if a management position became available? It is often difficult to transition from personal friendships, especially in a small department, to being someone's boss.
Kim was quite taken with Cathy, both personally and professionally. She felt bad for Cathy that she didn't have a loving and nurturing relationship with her mother. Cathy had marital and financial problems. On the other hand Kim felt that Cathy was extremely bright, but didn't really trust her because she caught her going through the bosses desk on day. Slowly some of Cathy's personality defects started surfacing, and slowly but surely Cathy started turning on Kim.
First she was jealous of the relationship that Kim has with her two kids (Cathy admitted it to Kim),Cathy is insecure about herself - she has a weight problem and Kim tried to help her start dieting and exercising, taking an interest in Cathy's well being.
Once Cathy felt secure in her job position, she started pointing out Kim's errors, always making sure that others heard her (including the boss). Although Kim has a few years of senority, Cathy wanted to start sharing in some of Kim's responsibilities. I could see what was happening and warned Kim, but Cathy is a master manipulator and pretty soon, she had wormed her way into the bosses office with complaints about how the department was being handled and how inefficient some of the employees were - Kim included! Kim admitted that Cathy had some good ideas, but no one was slacking in their job performance, least of all Kim (who is a Type A personality and perfectionist-I know because not only is she my sister and we lived together for years growing up, but I've also worked with her professionally!)
Pretty soon, a new girl was hired into the department (that makes 3 plus the boss) and Cathy turned her back completely on Kim, taking this new girl under her wing. Cathy and the new girl are both young enough to be my sister's daughters. Kim didn't think a whole lot about any of this because she chalked it up as immaturity and figured it'd work itself out. It didn't. Cathy took it to another level and started reporting to the boss when Kim would take personal phone calls and the like. It got down to spying on Kim. There are so many incidents that it would be impossible for me to recite them all. The whole situation just got so out of hand, and the boss didn't help matters any. Instead of stopping this mess before it got started, he kept the fire fueled by listening to all the tattle-telling. And even though he didn't believe it and never took action on it, he lended Cathy support to continue the behavior by listening to it to begin with.
Now let's bring you all current. There is a Lead postiion up for grabs and guess who are the only two who will be considered for the position? You guessed it, Cathy and Kim. The company is only going to hire within and Kim and Cathy are the only two who hold this particular degree, therefore they are the only ones being considered. Can you imagine working in this atmosphere?
The decision will made this week. We are on pins and needles. Who will he pick? My sister who has proven herself with this same boss for 8 years; who is mature and extremely good at her job? Or Cathy, who obviously has mental problems, but in all fairness knows the job well too? Either way, it is going to be a difficult situation to work in. After arguing that the position wasn't needed in the first place, Cathy says she will quit if she doesn't get it. My sister feels they need a Lead, but also feels that since she has senority she should get it.
Want to place bets?
5 comments:
Prayers 4 Kim!
V
Part 2
I took my concerns to my manager. I tell you, I felt like a male version of Erin Brockovich! Anyhow, my manager appreciated the feedback. And said that this is definitely an area of focus that she will focus on with Bitter Betty. My manager told me that we will always encounter Bitter Betty's in our work environment, and that we just need to rise above it.
The problem now is that nobody trusts her. We feel like she is a spy. I am responsible for quality checking any correspondence before she sends it to our insureds. Part of me wants to let the typographical errors slip by so that her quality scores will suffer. Do you believe this to be unethical? She has now taken it upon herself to run phone reports to check everyone’s availability, which was never done before. We aren't really concerned about this, as the reports will speak for themselves, she can't alter them. We are all top-notch professionals and we can not tolerate this rude behavior any longer.
How would you handle this situation?
Part 1
OMG Robyn, we have to chat. I have a situation at work right now also, which is pretty similar. Let me break it down for you. Our unit is a very tight group made up of 10 people. We work in the Consumer Affairs Department of an insurance company. We recently hired another person named "Bitter Betty".
Our unit resolves complaints on behalf of the company. We are very independent workers and work with minimal supervision. With this comes much flexibility. Now back to Bitter Betty. She has observed one of my co-workers taking personal phone calls at his desk. This was never a problem before. She told our manager. She also told the manager that this employee is leaving work early without documenting the personal time on our unit calendar, as we track our own time. Bitter Betty has completely torn the cohesiveness of our department apart. The major way that she did this was by gossiping about this employee to another employee in the department. She should never have done this, as we are all more tenured than her, of course the person she confided in shared this information with all of us.
I'm glad that I don't have to deal with Kim's situation! Give her my best!
Your a good sister!
Mary Louise of Watching
Your sister needs to get the job, put Cathy on notice immediately, and fire her if the trouble continues. Of course, the perfect solution would be for Kim to get the position and for Cathy to quit. I hope Cathy doesn't get the position, on the other hand, because then Kim is going to have to look for another job. What an uncomfortable situation. Keep us posted.
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