Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Secrets ..... part 2

 

"What are you doing, Sissy?" My Mother murmured sleepily. She'd just woke from nap and found me standing at her bedroom window. I could hear her stir slightly and knew she was reaching for a cigarette on her nightstand.

Ignoring her question, I countered with one of my own. "What would you do if I told you I was pregnant?" I asked quietly, continuing to stare out her window. Too afraid to turn and face her, I blinked back the tears that stung my eyes. I heard my mother light her cigarette and set the lighter on the nightstand.

Never missing a beat my Mom asked, "Why, are you?"

"Yes." There. It was done. I had admitted it to the person that I loved and trusted most in the world. Would she despise me for compromising her trust? Would she be ashamed? I turned to look at her. "Are you mad?" I asked, sheepishly.

"No honey, I'm not mad." She held out her arms to me and I ran into them, crying softly. "Don't worry. Everything will be all right. We'll get through this together." She was stroking my hair with her soft hand, while holding me tight against her. Suddenly, I felt safe again. The fear and anxiety dissipated. I breathed a sigh of relief. As usual, my mother never failed me. I lifted my head and looked into her trusting face, tears streaking my cheeks.

"What will we do?" I asked, innocently and rightfully assuming we were in this together.

"We'll have us a baby, that's what!" She exclaimed happily smiling up at me.

I will always remember that day, and how my mother handled what I would consider a desperate situation only made worse by her 17 year old pregnant daughter. Here she was without so much as two nickels to rub together and calmly she assessed the situation I was in and came to the only conclusion - within a matter of seconds - that was feasible to her. What would I have done without my mother? I shudder to think! My Mother loved me unconditionally and I reciprocated that love. I have often asked myself if I would have handled the situation in a like manner. Not likely. I am not now, nor will I ever be even half the woman my Mother was.

On October 16, 1969 my son, Stephen was born.

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