Days Gone By.............

One of my cousins emailed me recently to let me know that she and her siblings are going to get together along with some other cousins for a family reunion. That email has brought back so many memories!

When I was a kid my Father's family would have a big reunion every year. It was usually at one of my Aunt's homes. My Grandparents and all my Father's siblings would show up with their respective children (my cousins), and we'd have a grand time. It was a summer day filled with fun, excitement and wonderful food - more food than any of us could ever eat!

The adults would sit around laughing and talking while us kids ran, laughed and played. Although many of us had not seen each other since the year before, it didn't take us long to catch up. By the end of the day some of us kids were planning mini vacations at each other's homes. More often than not, my cousin Andrea would come back home with us and stay for a week or two. Then my Dad would deliver both of us back to my Aunt's house for my one or two week stay.

Some of my cousins are 6 or more years older than me, so when I was still a kid some of them were getting married and having kids. It didn't take long before the reunions were huge and out of control!

By the time I was a teenager my parents divorced so there were several years when my siblings and I didn't attend the reunions. My dad always wanted us to go, but we didn't want to go without mom.

When I got into my late teens and early twenties I attended a few family reunions with my dad, but Eddy and Kim never went back, and even though I tried to talk them into it, they wouldn't bend. I still enjoyed seeing everyone but somehow the dynamics had changed. Now some of the cousins, who had been so much fun just a few years earlier were totally different people, people that I found I didn't like as people at all. That may sound harsh, but it is the truth. Also, my mom's absence, and that of Eddy and Kim put a damper on things for me. None of the other family members, including my dad, could understand why the absence of our mom would want to keep us from attending. If they truly were oblivious then what was the point in trying to explain it?

Then, as is predictable in life, the older generations starting dying. First my beloved Grandmother died in 1984, and the following year my Dad passed away. The family reunions continued, but I never returned. Somehow when Grandma and Dad were gone, felt like an outsider looking in.  I found myself in a roomful of people that I really didn't know any longer, and didn't care to reacquaint myself with. Some of the remaining family members were arrogant, some hostile, some made up lies about their lives and financial situations, and some were just there to make excuses for the others.  Without my Dad and Grandma I no longer felt comfortable.  I felt no kinship to these people.  

Part of me is saddened.  I miss the family reunions that I knew as a child. Part of me is thankful too, because I have the wonderful memories of those childhood days that will be with me forever.