Katelyn Christine

                          Katelyn Christine Carl
                           (our sweet baby girl)
                     passed away last night at 8:45 pm


Many of you may be wondering how I can even sit here and send this email.
However, I can not begin to tell you how much it has meant to Kirk and I to
know that so many people have been and continue to pray for our children.
We still need your prayers so very much.  Just in the time it has taken me
to write this much I sit here sobbing for the loss of Katelyn as I type.
It brings me some comfort to journal via this email to the people that love
us and our babies.  Even those of you I have never met touch our hearts so
much!

We were called into the hospital yesterday to discuss the twins, Katelyn
and Kendra.  We had a conference with two doctors, two of the bedside
nurses caring for the girls and the chaplain.  We were advised that Kendra
is getting worse as she is not urinating the way she should be (meaning the
kidneys are not working), she is beginning to fill with fluid and her skin
is beginning to darken.  The kidney doctor advised that he has a different
medicine to try and it "might" be successful.  He is "slightly" optimistic
about it and said we have 2-3 days for it to work.  If it doesn't she will
be in the same situation as Katelyn.  As for Katelyn, they advised that she
was in multi-system failure and there was nothing more medically they could
do for her.  They strongly felt that she would die before the day was over.
They advised that the ventilator was the only thing keeping her alive.
They suggested that instead of letting her suffer through the night, then
code and die before we got to the hospital that we let her go while we were
there.  I must tell you having to make decisions like this are devastating.


We went to see the girls and Kendra does look a little worse.  She is
beginning to swell and retain fluid as Katelyn was (but not as bad).  Her
legs, genitals, head and shoulders show the swelling from the fluid.  We
talked to her and prayed over her at that time.

We walked over to Katelyn's bedside and began to sob and weep as she looked
so bad.  It was so apparent that Jesus was calling her home.  The sores
that she had on her arms were now developing on her legs and face.  Her
body was full of fluid again and she just laid there limp.  When I gave her
my finger to hold she would occasionally hold my finger but mostly would
just lye there.  We asked again to confirm that the machine was the only
reason she was still with us and they said yes.  We chose to have her pass
away in our arms then dying that night alone without Mommy and Daddy.

They moved her isolette and machines into a slightly more private area and
Kirk, myself and each of my parents held her for some time while she was
with us.  We talked to her, sang to her and took some pictures of her with
her family.  Kirk then held me in his arms and I held Katelyn in my arms
and they took her off life support.  She was on pain medication and some
sedation so she would not have "air hunger" and it wasn't long before was
gone.  We held her for a long time and cried.  They took a little cast of
her hand and her foot before she passed away and that meant a lot to us!

She had never been bathed since birth due to her condition so Kirk and I
alone gave her a little bath and dressed her in her first dress with her
blankie wrapped around her and then escorted her to her final resting place
at the hospital.

I know this is a lot to hear about and read but you have all been with us
through this journey and I feel that you should know what occured and how
we feel.

Kirk and I DO NOT feel that her life was in vain.  We strongly feel that
she served a purpose.  That her life was a testimony for Jesus.  This is
truly a fallen world and we will never understand WHY bad things happen but
we know she touched many, many lives and that brings a smile to our hearts.
We are so grateful that we had one week with her.  One week to hold her
hand, to kiss her, to sing to her and tell her how much she is loved.  We
know that she is no longer in pain and that she is with our loved ones in
Heaven and that God is tossing her in the air as she laughs and plays.

We were given a memory box with items that were her's.  It wasn't until
this morning that I smelled her blankie and wept because it smelled like
her.  Having these memory's mean so much to Kirk and I.

Kiersten is doing well.  She wasn't pooping and they gave her some glycerin
and last night she pooped.  They think they can begin giving her my breast
milk very soon!  I was able to hold two of my children last night for the
first time.  One because she was dying and the other because she is
thriving and living.  You can not imagine how heart wrenching it is to go
from devastation to joy all within the same hour.  Then flip flop back and
forth while holding one of your children.

We attempted to attach pictures of all the girls.  However, we are still
new with learning how to use our digital camera.  We will ask someone and
send a separate email later today or tomorrow with the pictures.  Sorry!

Thank you for letting us share about each child with you and also share the
last moments of Katelyn's life.  Once again - thank you for your prayers
for the babies and for us.  Once again - please be open to what Jesus has
to offer in your own lives!

We will keep you posted on Kendra's condition.  Please, please, please pray
that she is to stay with us.  To go through this again in a few days will
be extremely difficult.

Kirk and Kimberly