A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted

My neighbors, Brian and Karen, are going to lose their house.  It is going to be auctioned off if they don't come up with $25,000 to pay up their mortgage by the end of the week. 

Brian and Karen are good neighbors.  They keep their yard up and plant a big garden each year that they share with everyone.  If you need help with anything Brian's right there johnny on the spot to offer whatever assistance he can.

The beginning of the end started when he quit his job a couple of years ago over a dispute with his boss at a major telecomminications company.  He worked for a year or so as a truck driver and made ends meet quite nicely, but quit because he, "just wasn't going to be gone for 5 days and come home and do yard work all weekend, and get up and start over again the following week." I think he quit because he couldn't obviously drink like he wanted while on the road.

Then there was the time he got into trouble with the law over some domestic violence issue.  He was drinking, of course, and answered the door with a gun in his hand.  The sheriff's deputies decided to shoot first and ask questions later.  Brian was lucky that they had a bean bag pellet gun, otherwise he may have bought his self another piece of property in a cemetary.  

He did odd jobs from then on out but nothing permanent, and nothing that paid enough to keep up with his bills and the mortgage.  Karen was able to keep a job even if it was temporary.

Finally he started filing chapter 13's, "to keep the mortgage company from foreclosing and stall for time."  I felt so bad for them.  I told him of every place I knew that was hiring.But he had an excuse for every suggestion.  I heard them all.  

Well, two years and whole lot of beers later he is at the end of the chapter 13 rope - so to speak.  He has until the end of the month or he's out.  Karen saw the handwriting on the wall and moved a few weeks ago.  She's renting a small place for herself and all her furniture - the house is now void of furniture.

But Brian is still there.  Drinking his beer.  In his vacant house.  At least until the end of the week.

Madison's First Pumpkin

I dropped Maddie's pumpkin off at my son's house this evening after work.  After visiting for a few minutes I made my exit, glad to be heading home for the evening.

On my drive home, memories of halloweens past came flooding in and brought a smile to my face.  The years that Eddy, Kim and I dressed up as our favorite characters, hurriedly eating our dinner so we could hit the streets and stockpile as much candy as we could before the curfew that mom had given us.  Sometimes we'd run from house to house - walking was a waste of time!  We'd call out to friends when we hit a good house - big candy bars or popcorm balls.  "Go to Mrs. Green's - she's giving out Hershey candy bars", or "Mrs. Robertson has popcorn balls", or "Mr. Compton is giving out apples again - ugh!" 

We head back home with our bags, change into pajamas and finally dump our respective mother lodes out onto the living room floor so mom could go through it.  When everything had passed her inspection, we'd separate our own respective piles into groups: candy bars, suckers, bubble gum, fruit and the most coveted of all popcorm balls!  Then we'd start trading, and you'd think you were on Wall Street to hear us! 

Before long mom would confiscate each of our bags and shoo us off to bed.  Mom never let us just sit and eat whatever we wanted.  Oh no!  She paid the dentist good money and would not have us rot our teeth out of our heads.  So she'd dibby it out to each of us each evening after dinner.  We could have 1 or 2 pieces and of course she took her share too - a kind of "finders fee" if you will.  (She kept it hid so only she knew where to find it) ha!  That candy would last all fall and winter.  What fun it was.

I hope Maddie has as much fun in her childhood at halloween as we did. 

This and That

Another weekend is over and I still didn't get everything done. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.

My fall clean up is underway. Lawns mowed, edged and fall fertilizer is down. Some pruning done but still plenty left to do. I sure wish I could wake up some morning and find that some thief had come in the middle of the night and stole all the work I have left! Wouldn't that be great? I mean where are their values? Ha!

Our weather, in the Pacific Northwest, has been unseasonably warm. It was around 80 degrees yesterday and truly a beautiful day. It gets cool at night though.  I love this time of year!

The girls played outside all day yesterday, and got their weekly bath in the afternoon.  They just look gorgeous. I will never have any other breed of dog as long as I live. Westies are kind, loyal and friendly dogs. They are easy to train and have an enthusiastic spirit. Great dogs for kids.

I made time in my busy day yesterday to go and visit with Madison. She is growing so fast! She has cut two teeth and loves to show them off with her infectious smile. Every time I look at here I still can't believe she is MY granddaughter. I am truly blessed!

My grape arbor is loaded with concord grapes! I have so many I have no idea what to do with them all. I keep giving them away to friends, family and neighbors but I swear they seem to multiply overnight. They make the best juice you ever tasted. I've made it before but I really don't have the time this year.  Next year I will need to take the time so Madison has some homemade grape juice.

I grew a few pumpkins this year, mainly for Maddie. She is still too young to understand Halloween, but I want to get the tradition started so that in years to come she will look forward to coming to grammy's pumpkin patch for her very own pumpkin.

Well, that's it for now. Wishing you all a wonderful and safe week ahead!

DEVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD

I love to read. I think reading is one of the greatest joys in life. I don't understand people who don't read. What a world of new experiences, characters and knowledge they are missing out on! I hear people say so often that they'll just go see the movie, but the movie is never, ever as good as the book.

Right now I am reading "LITTLE ALTARS EVERYWHERE" by Rebecca Wells. This is the first of a two-book set about the "DEVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD". The story is based in Louisiana in the early 1960's, and introduces the reader to the Walker family, namely Miss Siddalee Walker, her mama & daddy, her siblings, and of course her mama's gang of girlfriends known as the Ya-Yas.

"LITTLE ALTARS EVERYWHERE" starts out with Siddalee telling equally poignant and humorous stories about the adventures and misadventures of the Walker clan and the Ya-Yas from a child's point of view. Every family member has his and her chance to give their perspective of the happenings.  It is truly timeless!

Siddalee, and the rest of the clan, move into THE 1990's and adulthood in the "DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD" and continues the story telling journey. I have laughed and cried while becoming totally captivated with this group of characters.  The nick names, funny little sayings (that only come from the south), the laughing, the crying, the trials and tribulations of life from the southern perspective is quite different from any other region in this country. And what a welcomed and cherished difference it is!

Rebecca Wells has received rave reviews for both of these books, and the "DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD" was made into a movie which is now playing on cable channels. In my opinion the movie is very good and definitley worth the investment of your time some afternoon.

But the book(s) is even better!

With all that said, if you get a chance and are so inclined, curl up on the couch with one of these books on a cold winter's day. I think you will be pleasantly surprised, as I have been, to meet these charming characters and live the 'YA-YA' experience, if not but for a few hours!

TGIF...........

Thank God It's Friday!  I got through another of Steve's birthdays without a hitch.  It used to be much more stressful worrying about what I should buy - always wanting to provide the perfect gift.  I don't even know if that's possible.  But now that he is older I buy some Eddy Bauer clothes and give him some money in a card.  I have it down pat. 

I don't even have to wrap anything because I found these neat little items called "Stretch Gift Trim" for $2 at Hallmark that is already decorated and adorned with cute little things like wooden stars.  You just stretch it around your box and to heck with wrap!  It's easy, looks nice and is really perfect for guys.  Perhaps for the ladies in my life I may go the extra mile and use some pretty gift wrap - oh!  I hate wrapping gifts!

I invited Steve and Danelle out to dinner, but since we get off work at 6pm and by the time we commute home to pick up the rest of the family, change our clothes and make it a restaurant it would be at best 7:30.  So Danelle decided to fix a birthday dinner which turned out very good!  She also made a fantastic German chocolate cake (Steve's fav).  It was 4 layers - yeah, count them, four layers high!  The whole thing was homemade.  She had chocolate frosting in between the layers (homemade butter frosting-yum!) and around the outside which she then rolled in sliced almonds.  She'd slathered the top with delicious pecan/coconut/butter frosting and latticed it with thin stipes of chocolate frosting, adorning the top with a marchino cherry.  It was absolutely beautiful and tasted every bit as good too!

Hmmmm, thought to self:  I may have to use Madison as an excuse to drop by and have another piece........

Well, ta-ta for now and have a wonderful day and weekend! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.......

Today is Stephen's birthday!  He is 34 years old today!  He was born on Thursday October 16, 1969 at 9:27pm.  He weighed 8lbs 14 ozs and was 21 inches long.  Mothers can always recite this kind of stuff that mean really nothing to anyone except themselves.  It's a kind of bragging right we have as Mothers.  It has always reminded me of guys that brag about how big the fish was they caught.

Birthdays at my house always come with a load of gifts and of course the perverbial birthday cake.  I always try to make it another HALLMARK moment, but for various reasons it usually doesn't turn out that way.  Either the gifts aren't quite right, size and or color is off, the cake falls, the giftwrap looks like it was used before, an unsuspecting guest steps in something outside and tracks it in (you know what I am talking about), the girls in all the excitement greeting people shreds someone's nylons....oh good Lord, it could be a host of things that would keep one of my birthday parties off of the HALLMARK'S GREATEST MOMENTS list.

But after the last gift is opened, the last bite of cake is gone, the last joke is told, the mess is cleaned up, the guests leave and the lights are turned out, I figure we've had a great time together and so does everyone else. 

We are already planning our next get together!

The Anniversary

One year ago today my blessed Mom passed away. I called Mom from work that morning around 9:00am to say hello and ask how she felt.  She had been hospitalized a month before with bleeding ulcers and spent a week in the hospital, but had not been recovering like she should have. 

Danelle had been staying with Mom during the night for the last few weeks, and I was surprised when she answered the phone that morning. She informed me that Mom had not had an easy night, and had been moaning in pain but refused to let Danelle call me.

It didn't sound good so I agreed to leave work immediately. As soon as I took one look at Mom, lying in her bed, I picked up the phone and called an ambulance. If death had a look, I was staring it in the face.

My sister and brother would meet us at the hospital. The three of us together could weather the worst storm. Thank God for siblings!

Later that day Mom was moved from the ER to ICU. She was given something for pain and slipped into a drug-induced coma. The doctor called the family into a small room and explained that she was suffering from congestive heart failure and had suffered irreversible liver damage. She was going to die.

I remember looking around the room at the familiar faces of my family, and watched helplessly the gamut of emotions that each person was experiencing. I couldn't believe it at first but soon came to realize that through all the rehearsals we'd been through with Mom over the years, this was the final curtain call. She had cheated death for the last time. I realized suddenly at that moment that I was losing the first love of my life and the best friend I ever had or ever would have.

I went to my Mother's bedside and took her hand in mine. I bent down and kissed her soft, sweet face. I tried reasoning with her and whispered, "Mom you can't die on Stevie's birthday. You have to pull through this." Steve's birthday is October 16^th and what a horrible birthday it would be to have his dearly beloved grandmother die on his birthday. My Mother loved him so much. Many times she said that his birth is what kept her alive all those desperate years. She loved him like he was her own child. And even in death my Mother proved to be selfless and to love unconditionally.

Mom passed away on October 15^th, 2003 at 10:15pm. She missed Steve's birthday by less than 2 hours.

Secrets ..... part 2

 

"What are you doing, Sissy?" My Mother murmured sleepily. She'd just woke from nap and found me standing at her bedroom window. I could hear her stir slightly and knew she was reaching for a cigarette on her nightstand.

Ignoring her question, I countered with one of my own. "What would you do if I told you I was pregnant?" I asked quietly, continuing to stare out her window. Too afraid to turn and face her, I blinked back the tears that stung my eyes. I heard my mother light her cigarette and set the lighter on the nightstand.

Never missing a beat my Mom asked, "Why, are you?"

"Yes." There. It was done. I had admitted it to the person that I loved and trusted most in the world. Would she despise me for compromising her trust? Would she be ashamed? I turned to look at her. "Are you mad?" I asked, sheepishly.

"No honey, I'm not mad." She held out her arms to me and I ran into them, crying softly. "Don't worry. Everything will be all right. We'll get through this together." She was stroking my hair with her soft hand, while holding me tight against her. Suddenly, I felt safe again. The fear and anxiety dissipated. I breathed a sigh of relief. As usual, my mother never failed me. I lifted my head and looked into her trusting face, tears streaking my cheeks.

"What will we do?" I asked, innocently and rightfully assuming we were in this together.

"We'll have us a baby, that's what!" She exclaimed happily smiling up at me.

I will always remember that day, and how my mother handled what I would consider a desperate situation only made worse by her 17 year old pregnant daughter. Here she was without so much as two nickels to rub together and calmly she assessed the situation I was in and came to the only conclusion - within a matter of seconds - that was feasible to her. What would I have done without my mother? I shudder to think! My Mother loved me unconditionally and I reciprocated that love. I have often asked myself if I would have handled the situation in a like manner. Not likely. I am not now, nor will I ever be even half the woman my Mother was.

On October 16, 1969 my son, Stephen was born.

Secrets

It was a cold day in February 1969, as I stood at my mother's bedroom window. Gazing out at the neighborhood that lay before me, I saw nothing. I may as well have been a million miles from that room at that moment.  What was going to happen to me after today, and what did my future hold in store?  Frightened, I was afraid to contemplate too much on any one question.

17 years old and two short months before my 18^th birthday, I was a senior in high school and would be graduating in June.

My mother's hopes were of my becoming a registered nurse. I so wanted to live up to her expectations. It was doubtful that was going to happen right now, if at all.

My mother and father were in the middle of a bitter divorce. My father had met the proverbial "other woman", and left his wife of 18 years. Turning his back on his family, he sauntered in and out of our lives as he pleased, barely giving my mother enough money to pay the utility bills and buy food. My mother was in and out of a dark depression, often drinking her sorrow and worries away with gin and vodka. I had never seen my mother like this before. She cried and drank deep into the night, stumbling off to bed in the wee hours of the morning. She always made sure she was awake to see us off to school in mornings though.

I had a habit of manipulating the situation and staying home with my mother. I'm not sure why she allowed me to stay home with her. Perhaps she wanted the company during the day, or maybe she was just too tired to fight with me about it. I invented headaches and sore throats at the drop of a hat. We become closer during this period of time than ever before.

I worried about my mother and felt so much empathy and compassion for her, that sometimes I couldn't stand it. Often times my feelings would turn into anger against her because I thought she was giving into all the hurt and depression. I felt she should fight for what was rightly hers. Instead she withdrew. She had invested 18 years of her life in a relationship with a man that she loved deeply, and now another woman was tearing her world apart.

Standing at that window that cold day in February, I wasn't thinking consciously about any of that though. All I could think about was the overwhelming feelings of anxiety, failure, shame and loneliness.

I was pregnant.

The Weekend

Today the girls are going to the groomer.  They don't know it yet and I am thankful that they don't understand and can't talk back.  Can you imagine if your dogs were sassy like your kids?  It sounds silly but think about it for a minute.  Since the girls don't particularily like going to the groomers, I'm sure they'd be crying and whining, pacing up and down the hallway after me bellering out, "Why, mom?  Why do we have to go?  I don't want to be cooped up in a crate for 3 hours!  Mooooooom!  Please don't make me go!  I want to stay home!  I hate that groomer.  She's mean!  Pleeeeeease Mom, don't take me!"  And since there are two of them it'd be double trouble.  Well, let me pull myself out of that self induced nightmare.  Thankfully it is all just a figment of an overactive imagination.

Actually if the truth were to be told I'd have to admit that I am more anxious having the girls out of my sight than they will be.  I hate it when they are away.  I worry about the latch on the crate not being fastened properly and the girls making their exit - because they are extremely fast little critters - out of the shop behind some unsuspecting dog owner who has just dropped off his own pooch.  I worry that the girls will not be put into the same crate together, and since they think they are joined at the hip, they would spend the next four hours in misery separated.  I worry that they can't go potty because they are in a crate which forces them to "hold it" until I pick them up.  I worry that they may get thirsty.  But the biggest worry is that the groomer will cut their nails a bit too short and make them bleed!  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  I can feel their pain - if there is any! 

On a lighter note:

While the girls are away at the groomers I intend to come back home and clean house, do some laundry, and take a shower so that I'll be ready to pick up my two little darlings around noon.  Then we will have lunch, the girls being so thankful to be home,  will curl up for an afternoon nap, and mom (me) will go shopping!  By the time I get home they will have forgotten about the groomers and once again their little black eyes will shine with adoration for me!

Can you tell I've done this before? hehe

 

Fall - the second best season

Although Spring is my favorite season, Fall is my second favorite.  I used to hate Fall because it represented the beginning of Winter, which is my least favorite season.  But in the last couple of years I have begun to look at Fall in a different light. 

Days thankfully become cooler and take on a crisp feel in the morning, warming a bit in the afternoon as the sun peaks between big puffy white clouds.  While the first frost is eminent and annual flowers die off, losing those bright colorspots in our flower beds perrenials, shrubs and trees subtly take their place with gorgeous Fall foilage. The leaves on the trees change from different hues of green to shades of red, yellow and orange before falling to the ground. 

Even what we eat changes once Fall is upon us.  We change from eating lighter meals and more salads to heartier meals like homemade soups, stews and hot crusty buttered breads. Iced tea and coffee is quickly replaced with steaming mugs of hot chocolate and apple cider. 

Evenings wrap a blanket of fog around them which seems to insulate us against the obtrusive noises of the outside world, which are more easily ignored in the warmer months. And inside that blanket we snuggle into a almost hibernated state.  The days are short and the nights long and dark.  We hurry home from work seeking the safety of our respective adobes.  The cozy warmth of our beds beckon to us much earlier than just a mere four weeks ago. 

We now begin looking forward to the holidays!   

Madison - The Newest Member of Robin's Nest

On Tuesday June 4th 2003 Madison was welcomed with open arms into the world and this family.  She was born at 1:59 pm on a very hot summer day.  Weighing in at a whopping 8lbs. 4oz. and 21 inches long, Madison wiggled her way into our lives and hearts.  With blonde hair and blue eyes, she is the spitting image of her father, but has the sweet demure personality of her mom. 

I can't believe that I finally have the little girl that I've longed for, for so many years.  And what fun we will have!  Tea parties, baking cookies and teaching her to garden are just a few of the wonderful things I look forward to sharing with her.  Just think!  I finally have a little girl to buy beautiful clothes for - she will never want for anything!  

Although my joy is nearly overwhelming with the birth of my granddaughter, it is bittersweet because my own mother is not here with me to enjoy this very important stage in my life.  I would give anything to be able to see the expression on her face if she were able to gaze down into that beautiful little baby's face.  My mother would have fallen in love with this child on first sight.  Although mom can't be here with us, her spirit will live on within me and I vow to share wonderful stories about her with our beautiful granddaughter, Madison.

Me a Grandmother?.........Part 2

"Why are you crying?"  She asked, dumbfounded.

"I don't know.  I think it's because they aren't married."  I blubbered.

"This is what you have always wanted!  You are going to be a Grandmother and should be happy.  Why would you cry about something like this when you have wished for it for years?   I think it's because your Mother just died and won't be here to experience the baby with you. "  She said, earnestly.

"That is it!"  I replied, bewildered at how she could have thought of that and I didn't.  It really didn't have anything to do with them being married or not.  It was because of Mom. Suddenly, my heart was light and I felt overjoyed!  I started smiling and then laughing!  I was so thankful that I had called her and she'd put all this in perspective for me. 

Now I needed to call Steve back. 

Me....a grandmother?

On Monday November 18, 2002 at 8:30 AM I walked into work, put my things down and started taking my voice mail messages.  I only had one and it was my son, Steve.  He never wastes time on pleasantries, but instead gets right to the point:  "Mom, as soon as you get this message call me."  And being the good Mother that I am I did what I was told.

He picked up on the first ring.  "Hey, what's up?" I asked unassuming.

"Can't you even say hi?"  he asked with a smile in his voice.

"Hi.  Now what's up?"  I asked trying to hide my slight irritation that he'd call me at work and then expect me to play silly games with him. 

"What's wrong with you?"  he asked.  

"Nothing, but you called me and left me a message to call you.  So what is it?"  I asked carefully.  I knew Steve's MO well after 32 years.  He was building up to something - something that he was having difficulty telling me.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that you are going to be a Grandmother."  

"What are you talking about?"  I tiptoed into the question.

"Danelle is pregnant and you are going to be a Grandmother!"  The smile had returned to his voice.  I could just see him in my mind's eye standing on the other end of the phone blinking those baby blues. 

There was a long pause as time seemed to stand still.  I was trying to process what I heard but my brain wasn't functioning.  

"Well?"  Steve asked.

"Ah, I don't know what to say."  I mumbled into the phone.

"Well that's not exactly the reaction I'd expected."  he said, apprehensively.

"I'm not sure what to say.  This is such a surprise.  Danelle is pregnant?"  I was questioning my hearing.

"That's usually how babies come into this world."  he said impishly.

"I have to think about this for a while. Can I call you back?"  I asked.

2002 - Part one

2002 was the worst year of my life.  Personal defeat and tragedy seemed to lurk around every corner.  And just when things didn't seem like they could get any worse.....they did.

Early in April word around the office was that 2 supervisors would have to be eliminated due to budget cuts. To make a long story short, I was one of them.  I was offered a new position within the same organization which I accepted.  The realignment would be in August.

The last week in May my best friend, who is diabetic and has many health issues, had a stroke.  This was so devastating because she had always been so heathy and active.  Thankfully she has recovered after a month of physical therapy, but during that month she relied on me to help do the things she couldn't because she was confined to the hospital. 

About the same time I noticed that my Mom's health was failing.  I couldn't put my finger on what was going on - and neither could her doctor.  I watched as each month she grew increasingly more weak and unstable.  My sister, Kim and I kept a close eye on her, going over in the evenings to take her some dinner, write out any bills that may have come in, and just keep her company.  Kim and I both have careers and start our day  around 4am.  Instead of going home right after work we'd go to Mom's and help her out so many nights we didn't get home before 10pm.  We didn't begrudge her that time though.  After all she'd done for us it was the least we could do.  We are not martyrs though.  We did complain between the two of us and felt that our brother should have helped too.  I guess all of this comes with the territory though.  I am just thankful that I had a sister who was willing to help out and share the responsibility.  We don't hold any grudges against our brother though.  He probably wouldn't have known what to do anyway. 

Just when things begin to look down read this........

WHILE EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS EVER CHANGING, EVER DYING,

THERE IS UNDERLYING THAT CHANGE A LIVING POWER THAT IS CHANGELESS,

THAT HOLDS ALL TOGETHER, THAT CREATES, DISSOLVES AND RECREATES.....

FOR I CAN SEE IN THE MIDST OF DEATH, LEFT PERSISTS;

IN THE MIDST OF UNTRUTH, TRUTH PERSISTS;

IN THE MIDST OF DARKNESS, LIGHT PERSISTS.

MOHANDAS K. GANDHI

2002 - part 2

Right after I  was reassigned to my new position, my Mother became ill.  At 82 she had been having health issues for some time, mostly related to her heart.  She was in the hospital both in September and October finally passing away on October 15th.  It was the worst day of my life!  I had mourned my Mom's death for 20 years before she actually died.  Sounds crazy, huh?  I did though.  I was so worried all those years that I would not be able to handle her death.  I guess after 20 years of "dress rehearsals" I'd prepared myself about as well as anyone could.  In fact, and I say this with much guilt, it was almost a relief it was finally over.  No more worrying or fretting about the inevitable.  My Mother and I were extremely close.  I am so glad that I told her what a wonderful Mother she was BEFORE she died!  If Oscar Awards were given to Mothers mine would have won many years hands down and I told her exactly that.  She was such a humble woman and just smiled warmly.  I knew that it was the best compliment that I could give her because she took her role very seriously.

So 2002 couldn't get worse, right?  Right!  It took an unexpected - and I do mean unexpected - turn that still has me dazed in its wake.  On November 18th my son, Steve, called me to let me know that I was going to be a Grandmother!

The glassis truly half full rather than half empty!

The Girls

Katie Rose (on the left) and Sophie Jo (right) rare otherwise known in my household as "the girls". They were born on 3/28/01 and came home to live with their new Mom (that would be me )the first week of May 2001. Katie Rose is the Alpha dog and Sophie is basically the baby. They are both a blessing and a curse. They can be little angels (most of the time) and little devils some of the time.  I love them both though unconditionally. I will update my journal from time to time with stories about the two of them. Hopefully you will come to love them as much as I do!