Happy Birthday Jeri!!!!!

Happy Birthday Jeri !!!   

To My Dearest Friend,

And Many Happy, Happy Returns!

Love,

Rob

Daily Affirmation

Twenty years from now
you will be more
disappointed by
the things that you
didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off
the bowlines. Sail away
from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds
in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

The Pledge

If you don't want "GOD" taken out of the Pledge of Allegiance then hyperlink over to this website and sign your name.

http://www.grassfire.org/5014/briefsign.asp?PID=5441120

Gardening In The Pacific Northwest

For those of you who like to garden and particularly for those who live in the Pacific Northwest as I do, here is the February Project link from Ed Hume:

http://www.humeseeds.com/febproj.htm

Now get to work!  :)

The Hunger Site

Here's another great link which helps feed people!  I've included this one in my toolbar too so that I have easy access to it every day.  I hope you will be encouraged to use it too!

http://www.thehungersite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites

Jackie: Update From Her Mom

I sent Margi an email this morning asking about Jackie and the following is her response.  Please continue to keep this wonderful family in your prayers!

 This has been a most difficult week.  Nothing has come back to Jackie.  They recently moved into a new home in Salmon Creek and nothing in her home is familiar to her.

The biggest issue is her 5 year old, Rachel.  She doesn't remember her other than as a baby and really struggling to do the right thing with her.  Rachel is a very bright little girl and so it has just made it that much more difficult.

Her husband has taken time off work to just stay home with her and try to help her get back into day to day life. 

She goes today for an MRI and then Monday to the neurologist. Because of my radiation treatments this week, I have been no help to any of them and I can't tell you how awful that makes me feel. 

I have only seen Jackie once and she looked terrible.  She is very pale and drawn and exceptionally quiet.  You know that isn't the Jackie we know.  She lives in fear of more memory loss and is struggling with that each day.  When all is said and done, we are encouraging her to go for counseling to help her deal with all of this.

To answer your questions about me, I will be having radiation treatments every other year for the next 10 years.  I had more Thyroid cancer than they normally see, so this is a precaution.  I will find out later today if there is any more active cancer in the glandular area.

I will keep you updated on Jackie.  Her dad comes home today and she has really been anxious about that so hopefully that will help.

Thank you for your prayers and concern.  I'll be in touch soon. 

Love,Margi

Animal Rescue

A friend sent this website to me and I thought I'd share it with those of you who love animals.  You can help feed animals for free by going there and clicking on the appropriate button.  I've incorporated it into my toolbar so I have easy access every day!  It's neat!  Check it out!

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites.woa

Prayers for Jackie

Jackie was my son's girlfriend for a little more than 7 years.  They were very close and we all assumed that they would get married some day.  Apparently it just wasn't destined to be because they eventually ended up going their own separate ways.  I was very sad when that happened because Steve is an only child and I wanted him to marry into a family that would love him like I do, and Jackie's family truly did.  They thought of him as a son and a brother.  But some things are just not meant to be, and we have to accept that and move on. 

Jackie married Elden and had a daughter, and Steve moved on as well, hence The Madison!  But over the years I have stayed in contact with Margi, Jackie's mom.  She is a kind and loving person who extended that warmth to my son long after the break up.  For that I will be forever grateful. 

Last night when I got home from work this email was waiting for me:     

We have had a very sad thing happen.  Jackie woke up yesterday morning with no memory of her last four years.  She is very disoriented and in a very foggy state.  They ran a CT scan and blood tests and things came back okay.  She will now go for an MRI and an EEG and see where that takes them and of course will be under the care of a neurologist.  Physically she appears fine, but quite disoriented. Unfortunately, I am having radiation treatments again this week and have been unable to help Elden out much.  What we all could really use is all of your prayers for recovery for Jackie in whatever form that will be. I will update you whenever we know something definitive. Love,M

 I know that none of you know these wonderful people, but please include them in your prayers!  Thank you!

Daily Affirmation

We are our own devils;
we drive ourselves
out of our Edens. 
-- Johann Goethe

We forfeit 3/4 of our
lives to be like
other people.
-- Arthur Shopenhauer


All the world's a stage
and all the men and
women merely players;
they have their
entrances and exits,
and one man in  his
time has many parts.
--William Shakespeare 

My Choice

I read in a newspaper article last week that within months, a small number of trauma victims could wake up in Portland-area hospitals to find they have been used as guinea pigs.  
An experimental blood substitute, called PolyHeme, may be used on some seriously injured patients with very low blood pressure without their permission in the near future.  Perhaps 20 individuals a year in the metro area will receive the blood substitute.
Most medical studies require patient permission; Polyheme generally will go to people in shock or unconscious from massive blood loss.  Federal rules allow some studies of lifesaving medicines where patients are unable to give their consent.
Before the study can get underway, researchers are required to teach metro area residents about the study and its potential benefits, ensuring there is no major objection.
Some Denver hospitals started testing PolyHeme last month.  The manufacturer is funding a study planned for 20 U.S. cities.
I don't know if I agree with this type of testing.  I think if some experimental procedure is going to be used on me, I want to know about it BEFORE it is implemented, and I want the courtesy of being asked if I want to participate.  I may want to think about it, and perhaps do some research on my own.  I want to know ahead of time what the pros and cons are.  I may want to discuss it with family members.
The way I look at it is if we allow this type of testing now, it's just a matter of time before other types are implemented – without our consent.  Keep in mind folks that several companies have already tested blood substitutes before.  One such test was stopped in 1998 when patients died at a higher-than-expected rate.  However, in all fairness, PolyHeme has passed tests in animals and humans with no ill results to date.
Now with all that said, since there are cities already doing the research, why don't we wait and see what results they turn up?  

Pitty Potty

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me.  Nothing major is going on or happening, but sometimes I just get into this pitty potty mood and need someone to listen to me, and not try to diagnose what's wrong and make comments. 

That someone would have been my Mother, however since she died well over a year ago, I knew I wasn't going to get any empathy from her anytime too quick.  And that realization just made my mood worsen! 

Funny thing happens though when one jumps up on that old pitty potty.  It may start out as a small issue, but pretty soon that "committee" that we all have going on in our heads joins in and adds fuel to the fire and before you know it you've got a bonfire.  

For instance, it started out with Madison not coming over because she was going to her maternal grandmother's birthday dinner.  Totally understandable, right?  I was a little disappointed, but I had other things I could do today.    

First the kitchen needs to be repainted, but since I'm not sure what color to paint it I decided to set that on the back-burner until I get to the paint store.

I need to clean out my closets and get rid of a lot of old clothes, but since I don't have any cheap trash bags (because I'm not going to use my expensive ones) I need to back burner that too, until I get to the store. 

Then I thought about looking up a plumber for some minor things I need done, but I have never hired a plumber before and have no idea who to call.  My Mom had always gave me the names of reputable people she'd used over the years, but now she's gone and............

Do you see where this is going?  Okay, today is a new day.  I have climbed off the pitty potty and I am once again grounded.  In retrospect, I feel rather foolish for these feelings.  

Bless each of you for listening and offering your support.  Have a great week!

New Feature!!

I've added a GUEST BOOK feature to my journal!  I've been trying to figure out how to do that for weeks, and thanks to Deborah (Making of a Home) I finally succeeded.  Many thanks to her for sure!

Please sign my new guest book and be sure to leave your journal address.  I'm always looking for new journals to explore and new friends!

Goodbye to Spottie

The First Family's beloved dog Spottie has died.  It is a sad day for the President and Mrs. Bush.  Spottie had been a member of the Bush family since he was born to George Bush Sr.'s dog, Millie in 1989 in the White House, no less.

Whether you are for or against the President during this election, you've got to feel the pain the First Family is going through today.  

My thoughts are with the First Family today.  I know it is heart breaking to lose a family member like this.

 

Daily Affirmation

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery
you miss by going too fast-you also miss the sense
of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we would find it not.

 

What Do Horses And Children Have In Common?

I read in a recent newspaper article that a woman in Washington state will be prosecuted for animal abuse.  As the story read, she owned several horses, many of which starved to death during December and January.  The article also reported that during the arctic cold that we experienced in January the horses had no drinking water because it had froze.  The authorities have  a few horses in their care, but there are no guarantees that they will survive.  It is feared that they too may die because they may have been discovered too late. 

The ranch where the horses were kept was out of sight of neighbors and the passersby.

When the woman was asked why she allowed this happen she stated simply that she ran out of money.

I guess I have to wonder why she didn't call the Humane Society and let them know her plight.  Surely they would have helped her.  Why didn't she advertise the horses in the newspaper and either sell or give them away to good homes?  Why didn't she do the right thing, and why didn't it click in her brain that are options?  Any law enforcement agency would have gladly directed her to through the proper channels if she really didn't know what to do.

Now the law will direct her to prison, where it is estimated that she will receive 1 year per horse.  So far I believe the tally is somewhere between 8-11 years, provided no others die. 

Ordinarily, I would say this is a just sentence for this type of crime, but now I wonder, who is going to take care of her children while she is in prison?  She not only victimized the horses, but now her children will suffer too for her ignorance.

It is a very sad story.

 

The Passion Of The Christ

I watched the interview between Diane Sawyer and Mel Gibson Monday evening. I was impressed by Mr. Gibson's honest and sometimes heart wrenching answers to Ms. Sawyer's ruthless questions concerning not only the movie he is making, but also personal issues regarding his father and family. Personal issues that have no bearing at all on the making of this movie.

I guess I don't understand why people all over the world are up in arms against the making of a movie depicting the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. I mean I understand that some are afraid that fingers are going to be pointed to the people who are suspected of killing Christ, but for God's sake that was thousands of years ago. Get over it! Those people are no longer alive, and anyone that would think that it reflects badly on someone living today has a serious problem!

The Holocaust has been depicted in movies and documentaries for 60 years, but I don't see the German and Austrian people getting all bent out of shape over the way they have been depicted over and over again, and in many cases not in a favorable light.

I pray that everyone will open their minds and their hearts and go and see the movie.  It will be a humbling experience for all to witness: what one man endured for his beliefs and the sake of others.

To those of you who feel compelled to want to do my thinking for me, I leave you with this thought:

This is a free country and everyone living here has the freedom to practice whatever religion they want. Just in case you've forgotten, America was founded on the Christian religion, and it's reported that 60% of the population still are of that religion. If you don't want to go and see the movie then I guess you won't, but I will pray that you change your mind. It could be a life altering experience and you don't want to miss that, do you?  

A Lesson Learned

On January 27th of this year while on my way to work I got a ticket for running a red light. It was one of those situations where your picture is taken doing the nasty deed. It wasn't that someone was hiding and caught me, or that I didn't realize the capabilities were in place. There is a huge sign near the intersection warning drivers that a camera is set up to take their picture should they decide to tempt fate. I pass that sign everyday that I travel that particular way in to work, and I have read it and acknowledged to myself more times than I care to count the outcome should anyone be foolish enough to run it. It is no one's fault but my own. Of course that is not to say that I didn't silently pray afterwards that the camera be out of film!

As soon as I saw the camera flash I started berating myself for being so stupid, but quickly recognized that I couldn't let this ruin my day. After all, it was my own fault and I needed to take ownership of my actions. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I have to talk to myself like I were a child or I get too carried away with the blame game, and before I know it I am reduced to a useless slug. Don't ask me how or why, but it works for me.

Well, God must have had a lot on his plate that day because my prayers were not answered. A couple of weeks later a picture of me committing the crime arrived in the mail along with a ticket for $237. Thank you very much! Perhaps that new garage door opener that I've wanted is, as the song says "just dust in the wind".

Well, God does work in mysterious ways, and don't let anyone tell you that he doesn't. Last Friday morning I received a call from my dentist's office letting me know that I have a near $500 credit on my account. Apparently I had paid for a couple of root canals and crowns and my dental insurance did too. Would I like them to just keep the money for possible future work (yeah, right!), or would I like them to send me a refund check? Duh!!!!

I haven't decided just yet whether or not the new garage door opener has made it back on the "list of things to do" for this spring but one thing is for sure, I break for yellow lights now.

Weekend at Grandma's

When I got off work Friday night I hurried home and picked up the girls and headed out to do some thrift shopping. I'm glad I did. I found a brand new - yes brand new - Kenmore vacuum cleaner for a fraction of the retail price! I needed to replace mine and knew that I was going to pay around $300 for a replacement. This particular model sells for that amount, but I paid a whopping $39! I'd never buy a used vacuum for my house, but this is brand new! I was thrilled at the savings and my good fortune.

I no sooner got home and Steve called and asked if I wanted to go shopping with him, Danelle and Madison. I would normally have jumped at the chance but to be honest, I was just too tired. So I stayed at home with the girls and fixed a TV dinner. Certainly not too exciting, but it sure was relaxing.

Saturday morning I got up to sunlight streaming in my bedroom window! What a nice surprise! I got all my housework done early and Steve called around 11am and asked if I'd watch Madison while they went shopping for a new car seat for her. I am so thrilled to finally have a grandchild! It still feels somewhat surreal. So I jumped into the shower and was ready by the time they got here. They are such good parents! Steve had bathed Madison while Danelle packed all her things for the stay at grandma's house. Each meal and snack was packed separately with instructions for each. It was a wonderful day indeed!

Sunday morning the sun was out again and I decided that I'd better get those two big bags of tulips in the ground before the next rains showed up. It was 62 degrees when I stepped out onto my patio! Although the soil was heavy and wet, I got all the bulbs planted in their new homes. Since they have already sprouted it's just a matter of time before they bloom. I'm looking forward to the color in the spring. I also cleaned out the flowerbed around my birdbath so the tulips I have planted there will not be smothered with weeds when they decide to bloom. I can't believe how fast those darned weeds grow! I had just cleaned that out last fall before the first frost and already it was nearly over run.

That was my weekend. How did yours go? Hope you all have a great week!

Sunshine Honeybunch

For the last week we have had beautiful weather.  The sun has been out all day and the warmth of it against my skin is heavenly.  It's been in the mid to high 50's during the day and dropping to the low 40's at night.  I had to laugh when I rad someone's journal here while back, who mentioned that it was 57 degrees and "bitterly cold".  Heck, that's a heat wave in my neck of the woods.  Everybody around here wears shorts when it hits about 55!  She must live in southern California or some other warm climate.  I guess it's all relative.

I heard on the news yesterday and again this morning about that young military man who is believed to have tried to contact the al-qaida terrorist network with intentions of leaking military information. What in God's name is going on here?  Are any of you as concerned about this as I am?  It seems that more and more young people, especially those with military connections are getting involved in the Islam religion, and then turning into spies and snitches.  This has got to stop for our national security and the well being of the American society! 

On a lighter note, Valentine's Day is tomorrow.  It's my sister, Kim's birthday.  What do you have planned?   

 

Daily Affirmation

To live content with small
means; to seek elegance
rather than luxury,and
refinement rather than
fashion; to be worthy, not
respectable, and wealthy, not
rich; to study hard, think
quietly, act frankly; to listen
to the stars and birds, to
babes and sages, with an
open heart; to bear on
cheerfully, do all bravely,
awaiting occasions, worry
never; in a word to, like the
spiritual, unbidden and
unconscious, grow up
through the common.

William Henry Channing

 

Daily Affirmation

 

 

Find the seed at the bottom of
your heart and bring forth a flower.

Shigenori Kameoka

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wildflower, Hold
infinity in the palm of your hand
and eternity in an hour.

William Blake
 

Journals

The Editor's Pick List this week is certainly showcasing some fine journals.  I've only had a chance to look each one over briefly, but I am so impressed!  Each one could have been the #1 journal - and that's not taking anything away from the one that was chosen as #1 either.  They are really great journals.

That got me to thinking about what motivates one to sit and write everyday - or nearly every day.  Do we write because we love it?  Are we trying to gain some kind of acceptance from others?  Is there some deep seated need within each of us to be in the spotlight?  Are we trying to gain validation of our feelings?  What is so special about our lives that we feel we need to share it with the world? 

For me it is probably a little of all of those things and perhaps more.  Certainly when I read other journals I am looking for a common thread.  Something that will "link" my life and that of the author's.  When I find it - when I can relate to that other person - I find myself being drawn back time and again to their journal. 

I have given up reading books since I started journaling.  I've found that some of the best author's are those right here, and many (most) have never been published before!  The daily "stories" that I read are much better than any book sitting on a shelf. 

I used to feel sad when I'd finish a really good book.  I'd get so wrapped up in the story and characters that when the book was finished, there would be a sort of grieving period (if you know what I mean) that I'd go through. 

With journaling I won't have to go through that, because you guys are always here!  Your daily stories will continue, and they will provide endless hours of enjoyment for me and others.  And since there are so many of you it'd be impossible to go through much of a grieving process, because there aren't enough hours in the day to read you all! 

So the bottom line is this:  I don't care what the reasons any of you have for writing your journals.  I'm just glad that you do!   

Good News!

What a day yesterday! I should have known that good news was imminent because the sun was out all day! The good news and it is excellent news - Jeri is going to be fine! She has NO blockages anywhere, at all! Apparently the shortness or breath is from some medication she is on, and the pain she is experiencing is not angina as was suspected, but an old back injury that she got stirred up lifting a 40-pound bag. What a relief!

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers on her behalf. She didn't know that I had the AOL Journal Community in a prayer vigil, but I know she'd appreciate it just the same.

A Stress Reliever

Funny how one can be fretting and stewing over stuff (in my case Jeri's health problems), and then out of nowhere life throws you a curve ball and suddenly you have new issues to deal with and forget about the others temporarily.  God must have it planned that way because sometimes it's a stress reliever, if you know what I mean!  Case in point:

Yesterday I had let the girls out to do their business, and was just getting started on my housework.  I stopped at the washer to add some water softner and glanced out my backdoor window.  You wouldn't have believed the sight that I saw.  I can't even describe it well enough for you to really get the picture, but here goes.

There is Katie Rose, my darling WHITE terrier covered from head to foot in black mud.  She was covered so well that she looked like a black scottie dog with a few wisps of gray hair!  I kid you not! 

I didn't have to say anything because she knew by the look on my face that she was in trouble.......big trouble! 

Long story short, I had to stop everything I was doing and put her in the bathtub and rinse the dirt off before I could even run water for her bath.  When I was through with her, I went ahead and bathed Sophie Jo too. 

When I was through bathing and blow drying those two I had to clean the tub and shower and do another load of laundry (their towels) and what I was wearing.  With all the rinsing and bathing going on, I'd drained my hot water tank so my shower had to wait.  Not a big deal because I still had housework to finish!

What a morning! But I'm thankful that it happened because it jolted me out of my worrying about the future and the unknown, and back into the here and now. 

Everthing happens for a reason!

Thoughts

I haven't updated my journal in the last couple of days because I think I have too much on my mind and have writers block.

For the past couple of days I have been doing a lot of thinking.  Thinking about the past, thinking about the future and thinking about what never was. 

I've been thinking about my health too. I want to live a long life and be the kind of Grandma to Madison that my paternal Grandmother was to me.  I've got to get serious about taking care of myself.  I've got to stop putting off annual exams and be more responsible.  I used to be much better at that than I am now. 

When did I start procrastinating?  I honestly don't remember, but I think it was around the time that I was promoted into management.  I think that I lost sight of myself in the wake of what I considered success.  I stopped taking vacations, stopped annual checkups, and lost track of some family and friends for a period of time.

Perhaps my position was eliminated not by mere mortals or anything as simplistic as a budget.  Maybe a higher power looked down on me and saw what I was neglecting to do for myself -  keeping myself healthy.  "Enough is enough!"  My higher power may have roared.  "Since you can't  manage both the job and your private life, one must go!"    I believe that everything happens for a reason. Could it be that a higher power or guardian angel was and is watching over me?

I've been thinking a lot about my mother and my father, among other losses of years gone by.  Why?  Oh, I know why.  Because I'm afraid of losing my dear friend of 30 years.  Somehow it dredges up old emotions that I thought was put to rest long ago.  But old emotions are never put to rest.  They lay just under the surface, festering and threatening to boil over at the first hint of vulnerability. 

I need to make peace within myself, and plans for my future.  Hopefully my creative juices will start flowing again soon also.  Right now, I feel drained emotionally. 

I wish you a restful weekend. 

Peace be with each of you.

Jeri

I went with Jeri to her appointment to see the Cardiologist yesterday.  They suspect a blockage due to the results of her previous tests.  She is scheduled to have an angiogram on Monday morning at 6:15am.

Here's an explanation of the procedure as taken from the Heart Center website:

An angiogram is a catheter-based diagnostic test that uses a contrast medium and an x-ray to visualize the size, shape and location of the heart and/or blood vessels (e.g., aorta, coronary arteries, or cerebral arteries). Angiography may also be called an arteriogram or angiograph.

Coronary angiograms (coronary angiography or coronary arteriogram) are an x-ray of the arteries located on the surface of the heart (the coronary arteries). The angiogram is used to pinpoint the location and severity of coronary artery disease (CAD). For example, it could reveal blockage in an artery due to either a build-up of plaque or abnormalities in the heart wall. Angiography uses a technique called cardiac catheterization and is often done in conjunction with other catheter based tests and procedures such as atherectomy or balloon angioplasty.

If a blockage is found that can be cleared then she will be admitted immediately for an overnight stay in the hospital, and a balloon angioplasty will be performed.  If the blockage is in an area that they can't reach using this method, she may have to have bypass surgery.

Either way is upset and scared to death (no pun intended).  I will go with her and try to be as much moral support as I can in a situation like this.  I don't know how I'd feel if I were her, but I'm sure that I'd be a bit frightened too. 

Please keep her in your prayers. 

Days Gone By

Some things are handed down from generation to generation perhaps by chance, perhaps out of sheer innocence.

I was a very inquisitive child. One day when I was about 7 or 8 years old, my mother was standing at the sink doing dishes. I can still see her in my mind as if it were yesterday. She had on pedal pushers (Capri pants for newbies) and a halter-top. She was slim and trim and beautiful.

I would do anything to glean some attention off my mother, not that I was lacking in the attention department, because I wasn't. I guess I just wanted more or was a pesky child, regardless I walked into the kitchen and asked innocently enough, "Mommy, what was it like in the covered wagon days?"

My mother retorted in a cool but obviously irritated voice, "I have no idea! Go and change your clothes!"

I was shocked by this outburst of sorts! My mother NEVER shunned me like that or talked to me in such a chilly tone. My feelings were hurt and I immediately left the room. It didn't take long to get back into her good graces, which I hastened to do as soon as I felt it was safe - maybe 10 minutes or so? LOL!

Anyway, I have always remembered that shared it with mom when I became a teenager. Naturally she didn't remember it, but we got a good laugh from it.

One afternoon, many years later, I was standing at my kitchen sink doing dishes.  Stevie, then 7 or 8 years old came sauntering into the kitchen and out of the blue he asked, "Momma, what was it like in the covered wagon days?"

I was catapulted back 20 years into the 1950's. Suddenly, I was that 7 or 8 year old child standing next to my Mother asking that innocent question. I picked up a dishtowel and dried my hands. Smiling I looked into the wide eyed innocence of my little boy's eyes, and said, "I don't know honey, let's call Grandma and ask her!"

When Mom answered the phone, Stevie posed the question and I could hear her laughing from where I stood beside him.

I wonder if Madison will someday ask, "Daddy, what was it like in the covered wagon days?"